Our executive producer Adam Gobeski likes to pick films for us to review. This is where those suggestions go to die.

 

Movie Year Description Will We Review It?
Shoah 1985 OK, you probably SHOULD watch this, but a it’s a 9 1/2 hour Holocaust documentary and maybe not the best idea for our first episode… No
Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice 2016 Two men bond over their mother’s first name No
Saw IV 2007 Despite Jigsaw’s death, the series inexplicably continues No
Orca 1977 “Moby Dick”, except it takes up less of your time and is somehow still insufferable No
Rocky IV 1985 Rocky ends the Cold War No
King Kong 1976 A beloved monster movie gets a less than beloved remake No
Dark Star 1974 One of the top ten space comedies of the 1970’s No
Police Academy 4: Citizens on Patrol 1987 Presumably has Steven Guttenberg and Michael Winslow No
The Man in the White Suit 1951 A movie about an altruistic chemist? I’m not sure I understand what those words mean together… Maybe
Johnny Dangerously 1984 Man struggles to live his life with an adverb for a last name No
One From the Heart 1982 No Mr. Coppola, no amount of good will you’ve built up will make us like it! No
Alien Resurrection 1997 Unfortunate self-allegory on the reanimation of the movie franchise No
The Cobbler 2014 Wait, this was directed by Tom McCarthy…? I’ll pretend I didn’t read that… No
Lone Wolf and Cub: Baby Cart in Peril 1972 Apparently, NOT a YouTube video Maybe
Avatar 2009 Smurfs in Space. OK, that’s not fair. I can watch The Smurfs without wearing special glasses. No
MegaForce 1982 But… Barry Bostwick… No
Shrek Forever After 2010 My fifth favorite Shrek movie! No
Multiplicity 1996 The original inspiration for the movie “Split” No
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull 2008 Unsurprisingly, a couple of radiation physicists have some complaints about a certain scene in this one… No
The Boss Baby 2017 If there’s anything that children love, it’s “Glengarry Glen Ross” references… Maybe
King Solomon’s Mines 1985 The movie Sharon Stone was accidentally cast in! No
Napoleon 1927 Eh, Stanley Kubrick didn’t like it, so there’s my excuse for not subjecting a guest to this one Probably Not
Starman 1984 In case you pine for the days Jeff Bridges WASN’T always playing a cowboy Probably Not
Rampage 2018 12-year-old me thinks this is a great idea for a movie No
The Andromeda Strain 1971 Tagline is literally “Rated G…But May Be Too INTENSE For Younger Children” No
Ma and Pa Kettle at the Fair 1952 Has humor targeted specifically at country folk aged well? No
Batman & Robin 1997 Ice-themed puns notwithstanding No
Swimfan 2002 Details how Earth has been ruined by instant messaging apps No
Head 1968 Plotless Monkees movie with credited writer Jack Nicholson! No
Underworld: Awakening 2012 Werewolves, vampires, blah, blah, blah No
Hell Comes to Frogtown 1988 And we care because…? No
The Revenant 2015 A bear sadly is not able to finish his meal Maybe
King Ralph 1991 It was years after I saw this that I finally realized John Goodman was a good actor No
London After Midnight 1927 How does Adam know this ever existed, but not that no copies remain…? No
Larger Than Life 1996 Has Bill Murray and an elephant; less than the sum of its parts No
United Passions 2014 A hagiography of sorts about FIFA including the unblemished presidency of… Sepp Blatter No
Trafic 1971 That’s French for “traffic”! Probably
The Gong Show Movie 1980 The second best movie ever made about Chuck Barris No
Zardoz 1974 The only movie we can definitively say has too much Sean Connery No
Vegas Vacation 1997 The reason I still have no desire to vacation in Las Vegas No
The Hottie and the Nottie 2008 Remember when Paris Hilton was the most unlikable relative of a hotel magnate you could name? Those were more innocent times… No
ABBA: The Movie 1977 Of movies featuring an “incompetent radio DJ”, this is in my top ten! No
Gotti 2018 When MoviePass dies, John Travolta will be the only one who attends the funeral No
Serenity 2019 Matthew McConaughey plays fishing boat captain Baker Dill…OK you’ve already lost me No
Lethal Weapon 4 1998 Wait, they made a fourth one…? No
Vertigo 1958 Huh? Yes, please, absolutely!